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Colours of Life

The unsaid words
- By Nandhini.K.P.

It's well known that good communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. It's important to recognize, though, that it's our nonverbal communication-our facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, posture, and tone of voice-that speak the loudest. The ability to understand and use nonverbal communication, or body language, is a powerful tool that can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, and build better relationships.


The human face is extremely expressive, able to express countless emotions without saying a word. In addition, unlike some forms of nonverbal communication, facial expressions are universal. The facial expressions for happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust are the same across cultures.

Consider how your perceptions of people are affected by the way they sit, walk, stand up, or hold their head. The way you move communicates a wealth of information to the partner. This type of nonverbal communication includes your posture, bearing, stance, and subtle movements.

Gestures are woven into the fabric of our daily lives. We wave, point, beckon, and use our hands when we're arguing or speaking animatedly-expressing ourselves with gestures often without thinking. However, the meaning of gestures can be very different across cultures and regions, so it's important to be careful to avoid misinterpretation.

Since the visual sense is dominant for most people, eye contact is an especially important type of nonverbal communication. The way you look at someone can communicate many things, including interest, affection, hostility, or attraction. Eye contact is also important in maintaining the flow of conversation and for gauging the other person's response.

We communicate a great deal through touch. Think about the messages given by the following: a weak handshake, a timid tap on the shoulder, a warm bear hug, a reassuring slap on the back, a patronizing pat on the head, or a controlling grip on your arm.

We all have a need for physical space, although that need differs depending on the culture, the situation, and the closeness of the relationship. You can use physical space to communicate many different nonverbal messages, including signals of intimacy and affection, aggression or dominance.

It's not just what you say; it's how you say it. When we speak, other people "read" our voices in addition to listening to our words. Things they pay attention to include your timing and pace, how loud you speak, your tone and inflection, and sound that convey understanding. Think about how someone's tone of voice, for example, can indicate sarcasm, anger, affection, or confidence.